I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
