I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
