so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i came on her dog
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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