Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
