Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
