Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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