well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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