Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
