I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
