just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
