I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
