He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
