Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
