I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Randomize
