i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
