Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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