Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
