im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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