Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
