i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize