Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
