i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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