when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
