Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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