ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
