he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize