This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
