New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
