Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
