Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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