playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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