We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize