How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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