Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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