How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
