I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
