dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
