What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
