based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
