we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
