I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
