i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
