White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
