ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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