found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
