My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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