how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
