I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
