I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
