Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
