The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
