Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize