A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
only you would photoshop your dick
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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