he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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