Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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