butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish my penis had an off switch
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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