why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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