It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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