you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
