Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize