Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
