well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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