Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize