My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize