Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
