Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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