if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
