is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
