**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
