is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
