i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
