But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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