But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
