Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Someone came in the potted fern
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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