Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I love having hate sex.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
