At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
