where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
