It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
