i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize