is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
